Nihilistic Pedigree….

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Judah of the deserts, bloodline

Yoked dogma contrived

Immobilized….. times warped

Lexical purge….going live….. 5…..4….3….2….1

Links dropped….panel orators descends upon their throne…..

…@emotional_incest…..sista.self-doubt……..and daddies_gone

From sunset to sunrise……. irreversible vibrations disguised….

enslaved mental trajectories, demonically hypnotized,

tap dance on “this stage of life”, securing a ninety nine cent super sticker….SURPRISE! SURPRISE!

Mindsets of a nihilistic pedigree

Entanglements of the Mental Kind

..

Sorrow…..

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Cocoons been set free

Butterflies float vertically

Meth….. cause of death

As he struggles with air…hospice nurse helps him get dressed….FaceTime…. I say…..”bro, all will be good, have a day with no stress” as he’s catching his breath and adjusting his neck…… “naw sis, life is bliss, we all return whilst we originally exist”. “I dreamt of mom & pops last night, I’ll be alright”. Peeking through the phone, I hold back tears accumulated in my dome, my tall little brother skeletal frame, grayish skin tone, sunken cheeks, shallow to the bone…..severe heart damaged, doctors states…..”he aint never coming home”. I pick up my 6 week old daughter, she glimpse into her Uncle D’s eyes, he starts to cry and says his final goodbye….”Love you sis and all the daily calls, same time every day”.

“Time to let me go, we discussed this yesterday”.

Silenced….my eyes forecast a heavy storm. I become selfless and say, “OK”, his eyes roll back into his head as he slips into a coma right away.

I was the last to hear his laugh, and first to hug him when he cried, my role as older sister, I carried with pride.

Wrenched with sorrow… there’s no tomorrow…..vomiting air….emotionally unaware…. lost in borrowed memories

Sorrows a gospel song

Sorrows a cry that longs

Sorrows flowing like a thundershower at the peak of dawn

Demi’s spirit treasured like the jewels encrusted in shafts of our family’s pyramid can never be measured

no longer in pain…….addiction took my brother out this game

In death and life her children’s, children would give her strength….Ep.3

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Thirty days had passed since Morn had the visit from the death angel.  That morning, she awoke to the sound of Susie gasping to catch her next breath. She entered the  room and went to cover Mattie but she had no more life in her. Susie could barely breath,  she went to her side and grabbed her cold hand. She kissed her babies forehead and said “it’s alright, you don’t have to fight no mo”. Tears began to pour down her face and she began singing the lullaby that had been passed down from generation to generation “mama’s baby and I love you”, “mama’s baby and I love you”. Morn felt a calm presence enter the room, there was a bright light hovering in the corner of her oldest daughters make shift bed. Susie looked into her mothers eyes and smiled, inhaled her last breath and gravitated out of her shell and through the bright funnel she had been lingering around for the past few days.

The room suddenly got cold and Morn began to wail. Her cry awoke the rooster from his slumber. Morn’s Aunt Bee entered the room and lit a white sage leaf.  She was carrying shroud clothing and 2 ears of corn that will stay in the room for four days. She washed both of her nieces hair with yucca shampoo. They will be buried on the fourth day near the time of their death. Their names will not be mentioned for one year to ensure a peaceful journey onto the spirit world with no hesitation.

Morns grandchildren came into the room and began lifting her from her slouched position on the floor, and gently placed her in bed. My mother who was three at the time climbed into bed with Morn and wiped every tear that dropped that day. In death and life her children’s, children would give her strength to live to the ripe age of 102.

Since her children had taken ill…..Ep.2

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Since her children had taken ill, Morn’s entire family began treating her different, it was as if she no longer existed. She had twelve siblings and her mother lived down the road. She knew that her babies would be leaving the universe soon and returning to Jah.

Morn start reading psalms around two am in the morning. Her mother had taught her the best time to communicate with the spirit is in solitude and when those who move around you were sleeping. She felt a strong urge to be near water. It was a chilly spring night with a full moon that was shining bright. Morn got out of her bed and put on her house coat. She walked past the other bed in the room to see ten little toes sticking out from underneath the covers. She could hear Susie coughing in the other room. When she went to check on her she had fallen back to sleep. Morn stepped on the porch and took a deep breath she began walking down the old wooden stairs and onto the dirt path that lead to the front of her rickety wooden gate. She could smell her collard greens that lined the wooden fence. The heaviness of the world was circulating in her heart and she had to let it go. When she got to the edge of the pond she dropped down to her knees and cried out

“Yeshua, lift this suffering from my heart”. “I know they gone be leaving here soon”. “Why are my babies leaving here before me?” “Each breath I take gives me a pain in my chest”. “Lighten this heavy load I’m carrying, I need you”.

Her eyes were closed yet the light shines bright, she heard his voice “you will not suffer my child”.  A peaceful calm flows through her body as she whispers “thank you”.

I spoke to great grandmother today…..Ep. 1

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I spoke to great grandmother today and she told me how, and when my grandmother died.

As great grandma (Morn) sat her wide hips on the edge of the bed, her head hung low. It didn’t look good for her beautiful daughters. She had fours girls, the year was 1945. Both of her daughters had fallen ill with the deadly disease TB. She had been taking care of her six grandchildren ranging in age, from 6 weeks old to 16  for the past 2 months. Morn was growing worried and began to pray.  She lived on the same plantation her ancestors were slaves. Susie and Mattie both had lost a significant amount of weight in the past few weeks and were fragile. They continuously coughed up excessive amounts of blood with infected mucus that rattled there chest and made them curl up in pain. My mother was three years old and her baby sister Lilly was six weeks old. As Morn sat in her two room house with her fire blazing, tears began streaming down her face like the river her mother would follow as seasons changed, and the migration was routine, the land still pure. With the bible in her hands and the comforting words of psalms melting over her lips she felt a sudden peace in her presence. As she raised her head she looked up to see the death angel kneeling before her with black long beautiful wings. He whispered in her ear, “take them to the doctor, and I will not come back in 30 days”.  She yelled, “No, I’m not takin my babies for dem to speriment on”, Viola had seen many evil things done in her day and could not trust anyone.